Every Dis begins with D
‘Tis the season for all good men to get dissed by jewelry chains for not buying their special ladies big expensive rocks this Christmas. The “Every Kiss Begins with Kay” campaign tells us that romance HAS to begin with some type of stone from Kay Jewelers. In fact, it appears they’ve had this regulation signed into law as EVERY kiss apparently begins there.
And then there are those annoying “He went to Jared” ads that tell us we’re scum if we don’t spend our hard-earned dough in that chain. The repeated cooing of “He went to Jared” alone is enough to keep me away.
But perhaps the most idiotic ad is one I saw while watching football this weekend. There’s a guy sitting on the couch with his significant other painting her toenails. I don’t recall the exact transcript, but she says something like “They look great” and he responds, ” I don’t know. I think it could use another coat.” The tag line is “Because you’re not that guy, there’s Helzberg Diamonds.” (View it yourself below.)
Translation: You’re either a wuss or you buy Helzberg Diamonds.
Well OK, I’m definetly NOT that guy, but that fact sure as hell doesn’t make me want to shop at Helzberg Diamonds. Sure, I’ve bought pieces of jewelry for Christmas gifts before, but these commercials do little to make me feel obligated to hit any jewelry store this holiday season. In fact, they’re prompting me to search harder for some other gift that will make my wife happy. And I’m pretty sure I’ll get a kiss, but it’ll begin with a lower case “k.”
